What Now?? // Life Update

Last weekend was a whirlwind I'd rather not explain...

But anyway...This week saw yet another trip away to walk round universities and pretty much decide my future. I now know where I want to go and what I want to study but one thing I can't get my head around is why?

Writing my personal statement is proving really difficult and time consuming as I have no idea exactly why I want to study accounting or economics. I'm not entirely sure what interested me in these areas of study or how I'd make a good candidate.  

I'm sorry things have been a bit hit and miss recently...they'll probably continue this way until I manage to get my head around things!

Esmee x

"Your own catastrophy"

I found this quote as I was scanning through Pinterest and originally thought it read "I am then designed of my own destiny" rather than catastrophy. And I think this was because we live in a world where we want everything to be perfect...when in reality it is quite the opposite. 

Majority of the time I live in a dream world (not as in la-la-crazy might I add!!). I'm such a perfectionist and love it when things go the way I imagine. Which I guess is why this stuck out to me. Because I always want things to go the way I plan. But that's not real and things don't happen like that. Life has its ups but it also has a lot of downs...things don't go smoothly and people mess up. And I can't control that.

Recently, things for me where going amazing and I was so happy, but after one night I crashed. Something happened that broke me and I didn't know how to react. I let things lie broken and didn't try to repair it even though what I wanted more than anything was to erase the events from that night so that things could still be how they were. 

I'm sorry that this has gone up so late, in all honesty I didn't know what to write as with all the things going on in my life I didn't really feel up for pretending to be happy or excited about something. 

Esmee x

The next Chapter...what does the future hold? // Life Update

Oops I missed a week again...

Last weekend was a bit of a mess...there wasn't a minute where I stopped.

Friday night I was babysitting till late, Saturday I was covering a 9 hour shift at work to the be rushed off to what I though would be a fun evening round a campfire at a friend's party (turned out to be the complete opposite...). I left early as I had full days work on Sunday which was hectic as I'd had next to no sleep after a restless night therefore! When I got in the door at 6 I pretty much collapsed...hence the missing post.

Any way...what I wanted to talk about this week is the future...or more specifically, my future.

Monday night saw Dad and I driving down to Glasgow to spend two days walking around the University of Strathclyde and Glasgow. It wasn't until the journey that it dawned on me that in a years time we could be making this journey but this time to my new home for the next 4+ years! 

I'd be lying if I didn't say that scared me. 

Leaving the comfort blanket of my family home will definitely be a shock to me, leaving behind everything I know and starting a new adventure.

There is that part of me that can't wait to get away from here though...to somewhere new with thousands of new people...a fresh start to the next chapter.

Esmee x