How do you get up from an All Time Low?

Yesterday was a very difficult day. 

I had a pretty big meltdown which is never fun. Luckily no one was around to witness it as I didn't want to explain myself to anyone in person. 

I woke up at about half nine but didn't get out of bed until one when mum came back with my sister from a swimming competition. After I realised what the time was, there was really no point in getting ready for the day as I'd wasted half of it already. Bad decision as that just made me feel worse. I couldn't look at myself in the mirror without getting upset (not because I was still wearing my pjs) but I could see every single one of my flaws clearer than ever. 

Not eating didn't help either. The thought of food just made me feel sick. Eventually I ended up eating an entire bag of microwaveable pop corn which I don't even feel guilty about. 

I should be glad that my exams are over, at the time of walking out that exam room I was so happy that they we're finally over, but now I'm dreading going back to school. And I'm not entirely sure why.

One of my biggest fears is feeling alone. Even though friends where only a message away, I still felt incredibly alone and ignored yesterday which caused me to have a mini breakdown multiple times. I always feel like I'm annoying someone by sending them a message but then begin to get worked up and overthink situations so easily which begins to upset me and in most cases I make stupid mistakes which I regret instantly.

The weather outside seems to be on the same rollercoaster as me. One minute it's sunny and the next it's hailing...much like my mood swings yesterday.

I feel like I just need to get away for a bit...luckily enough for me I only have a month left till summer! 

Esmee x

p.s. 100 points to you if you get the reference from the title!